i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
