As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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