Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize