you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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