I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize