Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
