I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Randomize
