Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
