This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
