Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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