he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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