We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize