just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize