No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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