We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
