I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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