He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize