Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
be right there i have to get my cape
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