Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
