I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
