Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize