I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize