you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
