and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Say something about gay babies.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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