im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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