You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
please come you make the beer taste better
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
