i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
