youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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