I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
