she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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