i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
