I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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