I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize