I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think im going to throw up on grandma
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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