when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
