Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
