; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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