Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she peed on how many people?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
