I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
