We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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