do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's never too late to be topless.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
