great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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