I just made out with a guy for $7.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
