it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
