I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
