so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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