Dual....:-)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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