it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
