I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
