whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
