is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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