Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
