never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
