Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
