mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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