Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize