Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
