I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
