I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Let's paint friendship bongs
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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