We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
