we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
