dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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