You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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