using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
