Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
