he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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