the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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