If you die in college, do you die in real life?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
