it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
