then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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