I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
